


Near Misses

by FleetingDesires



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bartlet Administration, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Hotel Sex, Office Sex, some non-explicit chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetingDesires/pseuds/FleetingDesires
Summary: For all those scenes you yelled at the TV, "JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY, YOU BLIND FOOLS!"Featuring all the biggest moments. Every chapter is a standalone.COMPLETED/RAN OUT OF JUICE: 11 APRIL 2020
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 57
Kudos: 113





	1. Enough

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fanfic. I just couldn't get Josh and Donna out of my head.
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed it with a comment or kudos!

_Yes, you are better than my old boyfriend._

_I’m just saying, if you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for a beer._

_If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights._

***

With her words, he felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. Leaning against the doorjamb, Josh had a startling moment of clarity. _What I wouldn’t give to be your new boyfriend._

“Thanks for taking me back,” she says, breezing past him. The smell of her wafts past him, something floral and fruity that she’s worn every day that he’s known her. Shooting out to grasp her forearm, Josh prevents her escape – because he knows that after that revelation, Donna’s first instinct would be to run to safe ground, to gain some distance in space and time so that they can continue dancing around each other.

In another timeline, he might have held his tongue. In another timeline, he might have let her walk away from him, _again_. But that isn’t this one.

 _Enough_ , he thinks, _I don’t want to live without you anymore_. As they stand frozen in time, he sees Donna hitching a breath, eyes darting to the ground. When her hair falls in front of her face, obscuring his view, Josh lifts his other hand to tuck it back behind her ear, and lifts her chin so she has no choice but to look into his eyes.

What he sees there makes him want to fall on his knees and thank God that she came into his life without so much as an interview.

In them, he sees how Rosslyn had affected her, the desperation of contemplating lost love.

In them, he sees the regard she holds for him, even though she’s been right there in the trenches with him, not only through his professional foibles, but also when he had to depend on her for months on end to keep him sane and healthy.

In them, he sees confusion and uncertainty, and he knows that it’s because he has done a remarkable job of keeping her at arm’s length and never letting his feelings show.

He doesn’t know if she can see all the same emotions in his eyes. He doesn’t know if she can see that he wouldn’t be standing here before her if he hadn’t been thinking about the life he wanted with her when he was bleeding out at Rosslyn; if he can’t imagine doing half the work he does, without her support; if the only reason he could keep his feelings at bay was because he didn’t know if what she felt was a fleeting crush or something _more_.

He can hear the chatter and the laughs coming from the Roosevelt Room, where their friends and colleagues are hard at work to bring the funny to the President’s Correspondence Dinner speech. Right now, though, Josh couldn’t bring himself to care. His heart pumps a fast, unsteady rhythm, because now he knows that whatever he’s been feeling for her, she feels it too.

With a caress of her cheek, Josh drops his hand from her face, and gently pulls her back into his office before closing the door. Trailing his hand from her forearm to her hand, he grasps it and places it on his chest, against the beat of his heart. _Do you feel that, can you see how you affect me too? You’re not alone in this_ , he thinks.

“Rosslyn must have been terrible for you,” he whispers, his thumb stroking over the back of her hand. He sees the agony in her face, he eyes starting to well up, and he can’t help but to replace his hand to cradle her cheek.

“I don’t want to run from this anymore, Donna. I don’t know what I ever did to have you run through red lights for me, but I know that you’re the reason I lived through Rosslyn, and the reason that I can do what I do every day.” As a particularly loud chorus of laughs boomed from the Roosevelt Room, Josh watched as her eyes darted fearfully towards the door. His grasp on her hand tightened, as he continued, “Listen, I know this will be hard given our positions here at the White House. But after that talk, I don’t think I could go another day without showing you how much you mean to me, and damn the PR consequences. I don’t want to get shot again and have the same regret that I never got to have a life with you just because of public perception. Every time you go on a date with someone else, it feels like a knife is being twisted inside my heart because I hate that I couldn’t be that guy.”

“Let me be that guy, Donna. Let me make you happy.” Unable to maintain eye contact any longer, Josh put his forehead against hers, trying desperately to get his heartbeat under control.

He had felt her silent tears fall down her cheek onto his hand, and futilely tried to brush them away with his thumb until she finally placed her free hand atop his.

***

With his words, she felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. Leaning against his forehead, she thinks, _Finally_.

Because though Josh might think he’s done a mighty job of concealing his feelings, he has never been that opaque to her. She’s felt his gaze every time he stands in his doorway a few extra seconds to look at her, and his eyes have told the story of his adoration every time she tied his bowtie for him. She knows that the only reason he insists on have a proper bowtie but never learning to tie it himself is so that they could have those quasi-intimate moments. She knows that when he guides her around the West Wing, it isn’t necessary to do so by the small of her back. She notices all the little things he does just to be close to her.

***[gratuitous sex scene]

“Yes,” she breathed, as she tightened her hand against his chest. Before Josh had time to process the emotions he felt at her acceptance, she lifted her face to capture his lips, catching him by surprise. With a groan of relief, he twined his fingers through her hair, grasping her by the head to get more, feel more, express more than he had every been allowed to before.

This allowed Donna to grab Josh by the waist, pressing her body close to his, whimpering as she finally allowed herself to enjoy the feel of his body, strong against hers. Josh backed them up against the door, planting one hand on her waist, under her sweater, while his other hand encouraged Donna’s thigh to grasp him around his hips.

Satisfied that he had now pinned Donna to the door by his hips, he let his hands roam free across her body. After all, she had already started her own exploration. He felt her tugging his sweater up just far enough for her warm hands to get under it and roam across his back and his sides. As they trailed up his torso to brush across his nipples, he felt himself get rock hard instantly. When she playfully pinched them, he couldn’t help the thrust of his hips or the tightening of his hands around her waist.

With that, Josh grew impatient. “You minx,” he growled, covering her smirk with his lips, intent on kissing the everloving shit out of her. At the same time, he reached around to deftly unhook her bra, while his other hand was already poised to grasp one of her breasts. As he flicked and pinched her nipple, Donna couldn’t help but to cry out from the onslaught of sensations and to tighten the grasp of her thigh.

“Ssh,” Josh chastened, as he released her lips in order to pull their respective sweaters off each other and to divest Donna of her bra. The smoky look in her eyes, combined with his first view of Donna’s bare breasts, made Josh dry hump her a few times before he hungrily descended upon both nipples in turn. With his tongue, he expertly laved her nipple, flicking it with a hard point as he sucked it into his mouth. Growling, he bared his teeth to graze her nipple as he released it, before switching his attention to her other nipple.

At the same time, his hands got busy under her skirt, ripping and tearing at her pantyhose. He could feel the heat radiating from her core, and his fingers encountered the wetness of her panties. Pushing past the elastic, he discovered that she was soaking wet, and groaned against her breast when he pushed a finger into her. She was warm, wet, and tight around his finger, and his cock strained against his fly as he imagined what it would be like to be encased in her.

When he pushed a second finger into her, Donna arched her back, and couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips. She had been trying to hold it back, determined to be as quiet as possible. Josh bit her lower lip in warning, as he curled his fingers within her and starting to thrust them in and out of her, with his thumb moving against her clit. To stifle her moans, Donna’s lips flew to Josh’s neck, sucking at it with the intensity of her impending orgasm.

“Come for me, Donna. I want to feel you coming against my fingers.” With that, she couldn’t hold back any longer, sinking her teeth into Josh’s shoulders with a silent scream and pulsing against his fingers inside her.

The erotic pain that Donna caused ignited all the nerve endings in his body, even as he slowed his ministrations to allow her to ride out her orgasm. When she finally tipped her head back against the door, Josh slipped his fingers out of her, eliciting a whimper. He grasped her head to draw her attention to the fact that he was tasting her by cleaning off his fingers.

With renewed lust, Donna attacked his pants, making swift work of his belt, button, and zipper, releasing his cock from its constraints. She cupped his balls and trailed her hand along his length, finding that there was already pre-cum on his tip. Watching Donna stroke his cock was better than any one of his fantasies, and he had to close his eyes for a moment to keep himself under control. When he couldn’t take it any longer, he pinned her hand against the door, removing her seductive touch.

“I’m clean. Do we need protection?” he growled, the lust blazing in his eyes. “No. I’m clean and on the pill. Please, Josh, I need you now.” He kissed her deeply as he removed the rest of her clothing, but then stopped to look into her eyes, letting his say all the things that were too early to say out loud to her. With another kiss, he said, “We need to move to a wall, or the floor. This door would be too noisy.”

Glancing around, Donna’s eyes lit up. “I’ve got a better idea,” she says, leading him on a circuit of the room to lock all the doors before stopping in front of his chair, and pushed him down. When Josh realised what she intended to do, he groaned. Even as she moved to straddle him, he said, “Fuck, Donna, I’ll never be able to sit here without getting hard again.”

“That’s just too bad, isn’t it,” she rasped huskily, as she lined up his cock to her entrance, and sank down upon him in one smooth motion. They both groaned, forgetting for a moment that there were others nearby. Shushing and giggling at each other, they shared another kiss before Donna started to move on top of him, her feet pushing against the floor for leverage.

Her head tipped back, Josh had the pleasure of watching her breasts bounce as she moved on top of him. With one hand, he teased a nipple, causing Donna’s fingernails to sink into his shoulders. With the other, he pressed his thumb against her clit, and she squeaked in surprise, now moving faster. Josh was struck by the sheer beauty of a woman, _this_ woman, chasing her orgasm by using his body, and fell even deeper in love with her – yes, he could admit that to himself.

When she moved to a back and forth motion, Josh took it as a cue to start thrusting up into her. The combined movements of the both of them brought Donna swiftly to her climax, and as he felt her walls close in around him, he could hold off no longer, his climax chasing after hers. Amazingly, neither of them made a sound louder than a whimper.

***

Later, as Donna laid atop Josh, both sweaty and panting and trying to catch their breaths, she said, “How did we not do this for so long?”

He chuckled, turning his head into her hair, revelling in the moment – that he was here with her, that he could do this, that he could stroke her back, and her hair, and any part of her that he pleased. “I don’t know, Donna, but I’m glad we finally figured it out.”


	2. Classical Interpretation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gathering the only rosebuds he cares about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I know about the nature of time and parallel universes, I learnt from Fringe. Mostly, I borrow elements of the non-linearity of time for symmetry. Is this what they call creative licence?

_Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Josh. Do you know what that means? It means_ _you should take this time to gather rosebuds, because later on you might not be able to._

_Interpreting the classics with Poet Laureate Donnatella Moss._

_I'm just saying, call her and stop bugging me._

***

Later, in the cab ride from Ted Marcus’s home, Josh ruminated on Donna’s words. _Gather ye rosebuds_. _Does that apply to her, too?_ In his head, he knew all the reasons that they couldn’t be together right now, that there would come a day where those obstacles would cease to be an issue.

Josh is a smart man. He doesn’t deny that they have a thing going on, in between the banter, the walks, or the late-night visits to each other’s apartments. However, he knows better than to act on it, just for now, where their personal lives are not quite their own. Instead, he chooses to focus on women whom he knows would never figure into his long-term future. Just biding his time, you understand. And yet, Donna’s words haunt him–because the operative phrase in what she’s said is to _gather ye rosebuds where ye may_. Between her dates with other men, and her newfound obsession with setting him up with Joey, Josh is not so sure that Donna will still be there when it is politically convenient for them to act on their desires.

***

_It’s 3 in the afternoon and I’m in LA. Why am I in a hotel room bed eating ice-cream?_ Despite her earlier excitement, Donna found herself rejecting CJ’s invitation to join the other ladies for a few hours of Vitamin D. Instead, she chose to give in to her despair that Joey Lucas seems to have captured Josh’s attention far more than anyone else lately. _And there you go, pushing him to ask her out!_ , she thinks miserably, giving herself a mental kick to the shin.

Donna is a smart woman. She understands that Josh’s life is not his own, not while he has the job he has, and as a good assistant, it is part of her duty to keep his work running smoothly. If that means that Donna has to draw the line at flirting, then it’s a part of the job she’s willing to do. She doesn’t deny that they have a thing going on, in between the banter, the walks, or the late-night visits to each other’s apartments. Perhaps the amount of time spent together is a little inappropriate for a boss-subordinate relationship, but it works for them. She has her flings the same way Josh has his: just to while the nights away till they can be together.

Yet, her own words from this morning come back to haunt her. _While ye may._ If the signs are of any indication, this thing with Joey Lucas might turn out to be something realer than the rest, and Donna is not so sure that Josh will still be there when it is politically convenient for them to act on their desires.

***

At the party, Donna is flirting shamelessly with the bevy of A- and B-listers present. Though she had arrived with Josh, he had taken off to talk shop with the other senior staff, before schmoozing the other attendees. About fifteen minutes ago, she noticed that he had started looking around– _probably in search of Joey_ , she thinks bitterly. Hence, the present flirtations.

 _There she is!_ Josh thinks, admiring her body in that dress. He sobers in a split second as he analysed the situation. Her body language is clearly indicating that she is out to flatten with her charm. On David Hasselhoff. Who doesn’t seem to be rebuffing her. _Good god, no man can stand up against David Hasselhoff!_ Pushing down his alarm, Josh wades through the throng of people, coming into earshot just as she says, “–Pleasure Cove, for crying out loud.”

 _What the hell?_ Josh grasped her hand, pulling her away from The Man No One Should Be Compared Against. Putting on his best political mask, Josh said, to David Hasselhoff, “Excuse us,” not caring if the handholding is conspicuous or not. With barely a mewl of surprise, Donna lets herself be pulled away, relishing in the feel of her hand in Josh’s.

Pulling her to a somewhat less populated spot by the pool, Josh placed a hand on the small of Donna’s back, leaning in close to her ear. “It’s time to make a quick escape. I’ve done all my work here and I don’t feel like making a thousand goodbyes tonight.”

With a look of surprise, Donna asked, “What, you’re going to leave without speaking to Joey Lucas?”

“How did you know– No, I don’t need to talk to her tonight. The work will keep.”

“But–“

“Donna! Don’t get started on the rosebuds. Let’s go.”

***

In the taxi, Josh and Donna sat silently and stared out the window, their usual banter gone for the moment as each was lost in their own thoughts.

Donna was conflicted. On one hand, she was relieved that Josh wasn’t gathering his rosebuds with Joey, so to speak. On the other, she was still mulling over her thoughts from this afternoon, the alcohol now in her system only serving to make her more maudlin.

For his part, Josh was contemplating politics. More specifically, he was contemplating the politics of pursuing a relationship with Donna, and how he was going to fix it. See, Josh had made up his mind to gather his rosebuds; he made it when he looked up at Donna as she fixed his tie this evening, only to realise that his whole world was contained in her hands, and her eyes, and he wondered when that had happened.

Looking over at her, he saw a swirl of emotions written all over her face. He reached out and placed a hand on top of hers, and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring gaze. While Donna had startled a bit, she didn’t seem to mind his forwardness. Without breaking eye contact, Josh pulled their joined hands from her lap to the seat between them, shifting his hand under hers such that he could stroke the back of it with his thumb. After a few seconds, he felt Donna’s grip tighten around his hand. While she still seemed troubled, at least she didn’t want him to stop. Josh took this as a very good sign.

Getting out of the cab, he took her hand once more. Stepping into the hotel, Josh said, “Would you care to join me for a drink at the bar?”

 _Gather ye rosebuds, Donna._ Looking down at their entwined hands, she took a deep breath and lifted her gaze to Josh’s, holding it there for a few moments, the invitation clear in her eyes. “No.” Without another word, she gently let go and strode to the elevators.

After calling for the elevator, she turned around, only to see Josh rooted to the same spot with a dumb expression on his face. _Oh, for the love of…_ She skimmed her fingertips along the neckline of her dress, which happened to have a deep plunge that night. “Are you coming?” she says, as the elevator bell dinged.

Josh shook himself out of his reverie. For a moment, he had been struck by the strongest sense of _déjà vu_ – he could have sworn that in another place, in another time, this has happened before. He doesn’t know how he would have responded, but this Donna, in this time, is beckoning him, and he is not so foolish as to resist her.

***

The elevator doors slid shut with the finality of a _thud_ , igniting the crackle of tension between them. Before either of them knew it, they were reaching for each other, their lips meeting for the first time. The feeling that this was everything they’d ever dreamed of, and yet, nothing like what they thought it would be, almost overwhelmed them.

Pushing Donna against a wall, Josh heard a distant _thud_ as Donna’s clutch hit the floor, before he felt her hands in his hair, tugging at it to assert her own control over the kiss. In this, he knew, they were equals, and he relished in the fact that Donna was as desperate for him as he was for her. All too soon, the elevator _dinged_ again, and the pair jumped apart. Thankfully, they were greeted with an empty hallway and not some other hotel guests – between the hair, the clothes, and the breaths running wild, it was all too clear what they had been up to. Picking up Donna’s clutch, he felt Donna take his hand as they strode out together.

As soon as Donna got the door to his room open (because Josh, for all his brains, had never been able to master the use of a hotel keycard), he ushered her in, tossing her clutch aside, before using the weight of their combined bodies to close the door. For a while there was no talking, just desperate kissing, and grasping, and moaning, right up against the door. When they finally separated for a breath, Donna placed a hand on his chest, saying, “Wait. We have to talk. Before this happens without so much as a thought to the consequences, we should talk.”

Josh groaned, placing his forehead on hers, as he tried to calm himself down enough to absorb her words. Unable to help himself, he kissed his way down the side of her face, and suddenly his lips were on the side of her neck, sucking and licking at it with abandon. Donna moaned, but with her last shred of control, she tugged firmly on his hair. “Joshua!”

Looking into her eyes, he saw all the lust he was feeling reflected back at him, but also the worry that hadn’t been eclipsed. He brushed the hair out of her face so that he could cradle it. “Donna. Over the past few years, you’ve worked closely enough with me that you know what we’re about to do has consequences far greater than our own lives. This may be easier if we waited, be it three, or seven years if we count our re-election chances. But I am a man gathering rosebuds, and I’m unwilling to wait any longer. Will you trust that as a master politician with you by his side, I’ll do everything it takes to make it alright?”

Donna felt the wind pushed out of her lungs, not by his words, but by having been deposited flat onto Josh’s bed. At some point in his speech, Josh had picked her up, and he now lay with his chest against hers, one hand wrapped around her waist and the other entwining with hers, as he pinned her with a look that was usually reserved for errand Representatives; it promised creative retribution for anyone who dared stand in the way of getting what he wanted. Feeling his weight on her, as well as his erection pushing against her in the most delicious spot, _hello!_ , all thoughts of sensibly talking this through fled her mind. “You don’t play fair,” she breathed, and lifted her other hand to his hair to pull his face down to hers.

“All’s fair in love and war, Donna,” Josh said when he managed to separate from her, pulling her up as he did so. He made quick work of her dress, as she got equally busy divesting him of his jacket and tie. As they resumed kissing, Donna deftly flicked open the buttons on his dress shirt; at the same time, Josh’s hand roamed her back, groaning when he realised she hadn’t worn a bra that night, before travelling southward to knead her ass.

Encountering only bare skin, he pushed Donna away in surprise to see what could only be charitably described as a scrap of fabric that covered her modesty. “I don’t know what the point of that is, but damn if it isn’t sexy,” he rasped, as he shrugged off his shirt and undershirt impatiently. As his eyes travelled upwards, he finally registered that Donna’s breasts were uncovered, her nipples tightened to hardened peaks. His cock twitched as he growled, descending upon her neck to suckle on it once more as his hands fondled her breasts, thumbs grazing over her nipples.

Donna moaned and reached for his belt, hands fumbling as she urgently needed his pants off. As they fell to the ground between his ankles, Donna trailed a hand along the length of his cock through his boxers, which elicited a groan from Josh. Pushing down his boxers, she replaced her hand on to his now uncovered cock, causing him to drop his hands to her waist and grasping her such as to leave no doubt that bruises would form there tomorrow.

“If you keep that up, it’s going to result in a very unhappy ending for the both of us.” Pulling her hand away from him, Josh tossed a giggling Donna fully on the bed, and kneeled at the end of the bed in order to stroke her from ankles to hip. Donna’s breath stuttered when he hit the back of her knees, and she let out a small moan when he paused his exploration to stroke that spot for a moment. Bending his head, he gave it a fleeting lick, Donna’s back arching off the bed. He continued trailing licks and kisses up the insides of her thigh, and the smell of her arousal wafting through his nose made him feel like he could die a happy man. But not before he could get to taste it.

With his arms under her thighs and his hands gripping her waist, he brazenly licked up the length of her centre in one move, the move sparking the neurons in his brain to seemingly fire all at once. Turned on beyond belief, he sucked her clit into his mouth, flicking at the nub with his tongue. His eyes flew up to watched her as she moaned, and he found that Donna was fondling her own breasts and tweaking her nipples as her upper body writhed. Josh moaned at the sight, which caused all sorts of pleasant vibrations to rush from Donna’s clit to the rest of her body, further encouraging an orgasm.

Her hand flew down to Josh’s head, holding him in place as she continued to focus on the sensations in her nipples and at her clit. She nearly went over the edge when she finally looked down to find Josh looking right at her as he continued sucking and teasing her clit, and she couldn’t help but to grind her hips against his face. Releasing a hand from her waist, he teased her entrance with his fingers, before swiftly plunging two of them into her pussy, curling them on the outstroke. When Donna started chanting, “yes, yes, oh Josh, yes,” he knew he had found the spot, rubbing it more insistently as he gently bit her clit.

The combination of the two sent Donna’s back arching off the bed once again, and she cried out his name, her grip on his head tightening as she rode out the orgasm on his face, her walls pulsing strongly around his fingers as he felt her getting impossibly wetter.

She released the grip on his head as she came down from her orgasm, and Josh took it as his cue to remove his fingers from her pussy. She moaned at the loss, her grip on his hair tightening again as she pulled him up towards her face. “Donna, you know I’m already losing hair every day, right?” he smirked, as he allowed himself to be dragged by the hair.

“That’s what you want to say to me right now?” She fixed him with a scorching look, as she wiped the smirk off his face with a hot kiss, her tongue invading his mouth as though she were physically doing battle with his words. Pulling his head back, she said, “Now go and get my purse.”

Josh raised an eyebrow. “I’m flattered, but you know, I’m willing to do you for free.”

“There’s a condom in there, you knucklehead, and if you don’t start fucking me in the next minute I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”

In his befuddled state – owing to the fact that his brain was not getting its maximum blood flow – Josh wasn’t sure what to make of her vague threat, or the fact that she had condoms in her purse. In the fifteen seconds he took to retrieve her purse and re-nestle himself in her arms, he decided to stow that conversation in favour of feeling relieved, and yes, superior, that he would be the one to make use of the condoms.

Those thoughts vanished as he watched her rip open the condom packet, to be replaced by all the fantasies he had of her over the years as she slid the condom slowly, torturously, onto his cock. When she was done, she suddenly reached down to fondle his balls, causing him to throw his head back on a groan. Pulling her hand away and pinning it to the bed by her wrist, he said, “There’s only about five seconds left on the clock, Donna,” as he slid into her.

The feeling caused both of them to moan, before he felt Donna’s heel press against his ass, encouraging him to go deeper. Releasing her hand, he gripped both of his around her waist, and sunk himself fully into Donna. After taking a split second to relish in the feeling, Josh started to move, and he watched as his pounding caused her breasts to bounce as well, both of her heels now on either ass cheek egging him on.

As she moaned and gripped his thighs, he moved her legs so that they were slung atop his shoulders. The new angle allowed him to go even deeper, and to hit her sweet spot on every stroke. As her moans grew louder and more desperate, Josh moved harder and faster, before placing a thumb on her clit, pressing down and rubbing it. Within a few moments, Donna’s fingernails sank into his thigh as she came yelling his name once again, and Josh had to slow down to steel himself from coming as her pussy clenched around his cock.

With her fading orgasm, he lowered her legs, bending forward so that they were face to face, his forearms supporting his weight. Donna raised her hands to stroke his back, and gripped the back of his head to pull him down for a kiss. Josh’s strokes were now slow and deep, and he pulled back to look into her face. He encouraged the hand on his back to slide down to the bed, where he could entwine his fingers with hers as he fucked her slowly, enjoying the feel of her body around his and trying to absorb every detail of her.

“Donna, I–“ He cut himself off, knowing it would be the wrong time to tell her that he loved her now; indeed, it would be too early; but at the same time, he didn’t want her to think that he was just overcome with lust in the moment. “Ssh, I know,” she said, pushing his head down to nestle in the crook of her neck, stroking his hair. Her grip tightened as he started to move faster. His face pressed against her neck, there was nothing to focus on except her breathy moans, the feeling of her skin on his, and how incredible his cock felt to be moving in and out of her.

Josh felt his own orgasm coming on fast, as Donna started moaning louder into his ear, begging to feel him come inside of her. Lifting his head, he stared into her face as his hand moved to tweak a nipple, eliciting a groan, before he placed it between them to coax another orgasm out of Donna. When he felt her walls begin to flutter, he ordered, in a rough voice, “Look at me, Donna,” and the look in her face as she came tipped him over the edge, the orgasm rushing through his spine and exploding out of him, as he held her gaze and her hand, letting her see his vulnerability and the effect she had on him.

Orgasms spent, they kissed tenderly for a few moments, before Josh pulled away with a sigh from Donna to dispose of the condom. Crawling on the bed back to her, he pulled Donna into his arms, his heart leaping at the recognition that the moment he had been waiting for was finally here.

After a few moments, he spoke up. “So, condoms in your purse, huh?” he teased.

Donna’s eyes flew open, and she turned around to face Josh. “Yes.”

“Pretty confident of yourself, aren’t you?”

Donna’s eyes narrowed. “We both know I could have had you at any time I wanted.”

“Oh, so they _were_ just for me? I always knew I’d prevail against David Hasselhoff.” Josh smirked.

“You really want to be bringing up David Hasselhoff right now?”

“You won’t even remember his name in a few moments,” Josh promised, shifting his weight on top of her, kissing her senseless in all the right places and making good on his word.


	3. Misdirection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey Lucas with her insight into human psychology strikes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated T, and tagged with angst. 
> 
> I started out with the intention of giving them happy endings in every chapter, but my brain decided to do something else instead. It's a short one, but I really wanted to write for this scene. I think it still fits into the general idea that these two weren’t completely blind to the mutual attraction, so there you go.
> 
> Also, I have no idea how pagers work. I assume it’s like a one-way text.

_If you polled a hundred Donnas and asked them if they think we should go out, you'd get a high positive response. But, the poll wouldn't tell you it's because she likes you. And she's knows it's beginning to show and she needs to cover herself with misdirection._

***

He opens his mouth, intending to refute it. _Believe me when I tell you that’s not true._ The words died in his throat before they could be uttered, as the doubt crept in.

The fact is, he wasn’t so sure where he stood with Donna anymore. He knew that he wished she would be jealous at the thought of him dating someone else. He knew that despite whatever he had said to Sam, sabotaging Donna’s dates was a passive act of jealousy, and the only control he had over the success of her dates.

He knew that every time she dressed up for a state dinner or another useless date, he wanted to hold her by the waist and kiss her forever.

He knew that as he watched her leave not five minutes ago, he had wanted to call her back, just to have her stand close to him again.

He came back to himself as he heard Kenny say, “We’ll go through the rest of the numbers in the morning.”

“Okay.” Getting out of his chair, he repeated, "Okay." Before he could have second thoughts, he shrugged on his coat, grabbed his backpack, and dashed out of the White House.

***

Josh exited the cab, looking up at a dark window. _How in the world did I beat her home?_ , he thought, as he slumped down on the stairs to her apartment building.

Staring at the ground, he was running through all the things that he could say, should say, _wanted_ to say to her, when he heard: “Josh?”

Looking up, his mind blanked. “Um, hi.”

“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” She said as she checked her pager.

“No, everything’s fine.”

“It’s freezing out here. Did you want to come up?”

“Is your roommate home?” He blurted. _Real smooth, Josh_.

“Uh. My roommate moved out after the third time you yelled at her cats.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re really not. Can we go up now?” At this point, Donna was hopping from side to side, obviously trying not to freeze to death.

“Yeah, sorry. Come on,” he said, reaching out a hand to her, snuggling her close as they made the short trek up the stairs.

“What are you doing here anyway? I definitely left you alone in your office with Joey Lucas. Did you chicken out?” She asked as she opened her door, rushing in to turn on the heat.

“As I told you this morning, she’s not interested.”

“You don’t think coming straight to you with preliminary numbers after you’ve been a nutter all night is a sign of her affection for you?” Donna continued her routine around the apartment, not looking Josh in the eye.

“It’s her job, Donna. We pay her to be that good. Do you agree that she’s a great pollster?”

“Yes. We’ve established that she’s an attractive, intelligent woman, whose knowledge of human psychology puts her leagues above her peers. God knows why she wants you to ask her out. You really should gather ye rosebuds before Al Kiefer comes back.”

“She really doesn’t. And the way I know this is because her knowledge human psychology, as you call it, pointed out something very interesting to me.”

“Yes?”

Frustrated at the way Donna kept moving around, he strode towards her, putting his hand over hers on the cushion she currently held and forced her to put it down. Leaning down, he said, “She said that you were pushing me to her because, apparently, you like me and you don’t want me to know.”

Donna stilled, her grip tightening. She could feel Josh’s body heat emanating from him as he stood close to her.

Josh continued conversationally. “At first, I didn’t want to believe her. But after a moment, I thought, she’s always been good at deducing the psychology behind the numbers.”

Donna flicked her eyes to him, and Josh saw the stunned look that confirmed Joey’s words. Letting out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding, he caressed Donna’s cheek.

Raising her free hand, she held his in place as she nuzzled against his hand. “I hid it because I knew we couldn’t do whatever this is.”

“I know.” He rasped, even as he stepped closer to her.

“It would be too hard to keep working with you if I gave voice to it,” she continued, as she moved to hold on to the lapels of his coat, staring at her fingers.

“I know.” Still, he couldn’t help but to lift her head to meet his gaze, full of things that couldn’t be said. It would be so easy to bend his head down to kiss her.

“Not yet,” she whispered. And in those two words, he saw that he had fallen in love with his perfect woman. The one who understood that his job was only the most important thing in his life _right now_ , who understood that there would come a day that it would be okay, and _right_ , for them to start their journey together, and who was willing to wait and work by his side for the years ahead.

Crushing his lips to her forehead instead, he brought her into his arms in a tight embrace, his body heaving with the exertion of holding his emotions at bay. He felt Donna return the hug with equal ferocity, great handfuls of his coat balled up in her fists.

“Thank you,” he whispered in a ragged voice, before pulling away.

Unable to stop himself, he placed a last, tender kiss to her cheek, before tearing himself away and leaving her apartment.

Donna stared after him dejectedly as he left. When the door finally clicked shut, Donna could do no more than slump to the ground where she stood, placing her head in her hands and crying silently. _Not yet may just be the worst phrase in the English vocabulary._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write these a chapter at a time, so if there are any scenes in particular you'd like me to take a stab at, drop a comment! 
> 
> As always, I live for your approbation. You know where the buttons are. ;)


	4. Extraordinary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My quest to turn a potentially pervy moment into a sweet exchange. Eventually featuring dirty, dirty sex to make up for the lack of it last chapter. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the challenge, kcat1971. It was hard for Josh not to come off as the dirty pervy boss in this one!

_I'm holding... your underwear... in my hand... right now. And the way I know it's your underwear is that your name sewn in the back, which is obviously something we'll spend some time talking about at a later date._

***

When Josh opened the envelope, the last thing he expected to see in it was a pair of women’s panties. _Is this a joke from the Congressional leadership again? Or maybe that Senator he once sent a fish to._

Confused, he flipped over the envelope. _Karen Cahill_? _What on- oh. OH._

Ensuring his back was to the door (and shielding the package from prying eyes), he tipped out the underwear on to his desk, the knowledge that it was Donna's making his cock twitch. _Down, boy_. Picking it up gingerly, he held it at eye level, noticing the hand-sewn lettering on it. _Donnatella_ , it spelled in messy stitchwork. He resisted the urge to press his nose into it. 

_This is going to be so much fun,_ Josh grinned to himself. _"_ Donna?" he wandered back to her desk, putting on his beset poker face as he held her panties.

***

Having successfully mortified Donna and watched her face turned bright red, he tossed her panties at her as he strode away, being beckoned by CJ. _I'll deal with all the possibilities later_ , he smirked to himself.

It turns out, later wasn't going to be till night had long since fallen. Sitting back in his chair, Josh rubbed his hands over his face. Bored of yet another briefing memo, he heard the gentle tapping of Donna's keyboard. Quietly, he moved to lock the other two doors in his office before resettling in his chair.

"DONNA!" He bellowed, stifling the wicked grin on his face. 

Appearing in his doorway with a notepad, she deadpanned, "You bellowed?"

"Come in, have a seat. Oh, close the door, would you?"

As she moved to obey with a suspicious look, Josh stood up, casually leaning against the set of file cabinets that were closest to the door Donna had entered from. 

"So," he began conversationally, "I'm curious."

Donna's eyes narrowed at his strange behaviour. "About what?"

"About why you would possibly need to label your underwear." Josh broke into a wide grin. 

"JOSH!" She protested, shooting out of her chair. 

He said nothing further, simply cocking a brow at her. 

"It- it's none of your business."

"I think having it delivered in an envelope addressed to me makes it my business."

As Donna sputtered incoherently, he continued, "Are you in the habit of leaving your underwear with strangers?”

“What?! Of course not!”

“Then I really fail to see why it needs to be labelled.”

Giving up the sputtering in a sigh of defeat, Donna started mumbling. 

“I can’t really hear you there, Donna.”

Glaring at him, she said, “I said, I live with another woman. Sometimes things get mixed up, okay?”

“...you have the same underwear as your roommate?” Josh said dumbly.

“Oh my god, get away from me.” Josh allowed himself to be pushed aside as he contemplated the simplicity of the panties he had held earlier that day. I guess they are pretty common.... he thought. 

Josh slumped down in his chair, deep in thought he lifted his eyes as the sound of file cabinets slamming shut stopped, to see Donna reappear in his doorway. “Can I go home now?” She huffed, her face still tinged with pink. 

“Yes. But come in early tomorrow.” She nodded and walked away.

*** 

_A week later_

Donna trudged into her apartment, exhausted after a night spent attending the Italian State Dinner. "A delivery came for you while you were out," Anna, her roommate, said. "Why don't I have men in tuxes delivering things to me, too?" She pouted at Donna.

"What?" She said, her voice fading as she walked to her room, spying the box on her bed.

_La Perla_ , it said on the front. She didn't recognise it, but it looked luxurious in its simplicity and construction. Opening the box, she was greeted with a note, lying on top of gauzy paper.

_Extraordinary women deserve extraordinary things_ , it said. The writer didn't sign his name, but she'd recognise that scrawl anywhere. Separating the material, she found seven pairs of the most exquisite panties she had ever seen, each with a small note between them.

The first one said: _Watching Senators forget their agendas under your wit and charm, even for a moment, might be the proudest moment of my day._

The second: _Did you know you have a string of secret admirers? It feels like half my job is to beat them back._

The third: _You annoy and fascinate me in equal measure._

The fourth: _Thank god for another failed date._

The fifth: _Having you fix my necktie is quite the exquisite torture._

The sixth: _Thank you for taking over and making everything better._

Finally, the last one read: _You are the most beautiful woman in the room tonight._

***

Josh's doorbell rang just as he had undone his cufflinks. With a sigh, he threw open his door, intending to berate whoever was on the other side. What he didn't expect to see was _her_ , still in the dress she had worn all night.

"Donna? Are you okay?" 

"No," she said, even as she reached to pull him down, locking her lips to his in a searing kiss. They stood there in an embrace for a few long moments, his hands coming to knead at her waist. 

Finally, he pushed her away with a gasp. "Donna, what are you–"

"It would have killed you to say those things to me out loud?" She walked him backwards into his apartment. 

"I– Yeah." Josh's grip tightened on her waist.

"You are an idiot man." She declared, as she continued walking him backwards. _Towards his bedroom_ , he noticed.

Josh planted his feet, stopping their movement. "Donna... we don't have to do this." 

An eyebrow raised, she replied, "Does it look like I don't want to do this?"

"I– I mean, I didn't give you those things in expectation of anything."

"I know." Her eyes softened, even as she gave his chest a push. Relenting, he let himself be walked backwards. "But I think we both know what you would have been doing tonight had I not shown up... and isn't reality better than fantasy?" Josh felt the back of his knees hit the bed, and he tumbled backwards on to it. 

"God, yes," he breathed, unmoving except for the rise and fall of his chest. He was afraid that if he moved too fast, or talked too loud, he'd wake up from this dream. 

Donna started unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it off his shoulders. He bit down on his lip as she raked her nails over his chest, stopping at the top of his pants. "Did you want me to stop?"

"Are you kidding?" His eyes flared at her, throwing her a pointed look at his erection.

"It would be the smart thing to do." She undid his belt, her palm grazing against his cock with her movements. 

"I beg to differ," Josh growled, having finally reached the point where he could take her teasing no more. Reaching up, he reached for the zipper of her dress, swiftly pulling it down. At her surprised look, he shrugged. "I felt it as we were dancing tonight. I can't believe I get to do this," as his hands touched her bare skin, pushing her dress away from her body.

Josh hadn't processed the fact that Donna wasn't wearing a bra under her dress until she stood before him now, clad only in a pair of panties – the one in which he wrote, _You are the most beautiful woman in the room tonight_. It was a lacy black g-string, the one he wished she was wearing even as he scribbled the note earlier tonight. Sitting up, he pulled her closer to him, softly groaning as he trailed his fingers through the golden curls peeking out its sides. 

As he looked up at her, his hands caressed up her body, reaching her breasts, and he marvelled at their softness. He flicked his thumbs back and forth across her nipples, feeling them harden. He planted soft kisses against her quivering abdomen, whispering, "You look even more amazing now." 

Dipping, and pressing his face against her curls, he briefly considered the possibility that he had literally died and had gone to heaven as he grasped the panties and pulled it down, getting impossibly harder at the feeling of her curls against his nose. 

Reaching down, he slowly swiped a finger through the wetness, holding Donna's eyes as he licked on his finger. She groaned and said, "Take your pants off."

Josh complied before moving up the bed, pulling Donna with him. "Come here," he said roughly, "I need to taste more of you." She hesitated, before a shooting him a cheeky grin. "Me too."

His confusion cleared as she turned around to offer him her ass, her tongue licking a line up his cock before he could say anything. "Fuck," Josh groaned as he felt her lips wrap around the tip of his cock, unable to restrain his thrust. As she took him further into her mouth, Josh forced his _other_ head to start working, pushing his mouth against her clit on yet another moan. 

The next minutes were a blur, as each tried to focus on their ministrations on the other, the task getting harder and they became more frantic. Josh cursed internally every time he did something right that cause Donna to moan and shoot vibrations around his cock. He manipulated her clit with his tongue in hard circles, the way she seemed to like it, tilting his head so his nose was at her pussy. A hand flew up to her ass, one finger making maddening circles around her opening. This caused Donna to pop off his cock, though her grip on him became a vise as she pumped his cock as though to make up for the loss. Josh had no time to process this change, before he was assaulted by the feeling and the image of Donna grinding down on his face. 

"God, Josh, yes," she chanted, as he increased his pace. When he felt her ministrations slow to a halt at his base, her thighs quivering, he pushed a fingertip into her ass, exerting gentle pressure. Surprised, Donna's grip flew to his thigh as she started coming long and hard, her teeth biting down on his sensitive inner thigh as she vocalised her pleasure. 

When her grip on him relaxed, Josh leisurely licked up the length of her incredibly wet pussy, relishing in her taste for a moment before nudging her down on to the bed. 

Kneeling between her legs, he panted, "Where'd you get so naughty, Donna?"

Donna wriggled beneath him, only responding, "I need you inside me, Josh."

"Really," he groaned, as he held his cock, trailing up and down her centre. 

Donna flexed her hips as he lined himself up to her entrance, and he had to use his free hand to stop her. "Impatient, impatient," he chided, as Donna whined. 

He held her by the hips as he entered her torturously slowly, enjoying Donna's writhing beneath him. He groaned as he started to pump his hips slowly, throwing his head back as he fully entered her. 

He returned his gaze to hers as he said, "I'm not going to last long here, Donna. You've been such a tease and this," he gave her a hard thrust, "feels too amazing."

Donna nodded, as her hand went to her clit and started pleasuring herself, her other hand going to play with her nipple. 

_Dear god this woman is a fucking wet dream_ , Josh thought, as his grip tightened on her waist, thrusting his hips even as he pulled and pushed her body in sync with his movements. It wasn't long before Donna was throwing her head back on a shout, as her walls closed in around him. He held on just long enough for her to finish her orgasm, before throwing her hands aside to come down upon her, hands flying to the back of her shoulders and groaning her name into her neck as he came with two hard thrusts.

***

As they laid in bed, cuddling, Josh's blissful state was suddenly interrupted. 

"How did you get an Italian man to deliver me underwear?"

Looking down at her, he frowned. "You're thinking about an Italian man right now?" At the look she gave him, Josh quickly continued. "The only way I could get La Perla that soon was to arrange for a special delivery via the Italian _chargé d'affaires_ , who happens to owe me a favour or two–"

"You asked the Italian _chargé d'affaires_ to deliver underwear to me?!"

"He didn't know it was _you_ or I'm sure he'd have made the delivery himself. It just so happens he has an aide who hates state functions and so volunteered to slip out during the dancing portion of the evening to make the delivery."

Seemingly satisfied, Donna snuggled back into his chest. "It sure is nice to have the Deputy Chief of Staff have a crush on you."

"Hmm." Josh resumed trailing his hand on her back. 

A second later, Donna shot up. Josh sighed. "Josh! I'm going to have to put the panties on my financial disclosure!"

After a beat, Josh pulled her back down beside him. "I guess I'll just have to buy you more underwear."

"Be serious!" She pushed on his chest.

Not budging, he held her even closer. "I am. What kind of man buys panties without their matching sets? Besides, we have...seven months to figure it out. Don't worry," he said as he gave her a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I live for your approbation. Comment with a scene you'd like to see and I'll take it under advisement, or drop a kudos if you've enjoyed this!


	5. Someone's Going to Emergency / Baby, it's Cold Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, putting one’s hand through a window can be quite cathartic. And revealing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t believe in sex as emotional therapy, and I reckon it’s an all around bad idea to start a relationship with therapy sex. Hence, no sex! But so much hurt and comfort guys, just so much. My heart hurt so good while writing this.
> 
> Also, I cross 10,000 words with this chapter. That is insane to me. I’ve never written stories in my life and now I find myself addicted to it.

_“Donna's gonna take you to the emergency room.”_

_“She knows?”_

_“She was the one who guessed.”_

***

As Josh looked distantly at the carollers, Donna latched on to his arm. “Let’s go.”

Donna doesn’t let go of Josh’s arm through the silent cab ride to the emergency room, seeking comfort from his mere physical presence. Josh simply stared out the window, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

When they arrived at the hospital, he reached out his one good hand to help her out of the cab, and didn’t let go of it even as they settled in for the interminable wait at the ER. When Josh’s name was finally called, she attempted to slip her hand out of his grasp. “Josh, they’re calling you. I’ll be waiting right here.”

His grip on her hand only tightened, as he raised his gaze to meet hers. The world of pain in his eyes was nothing new; it had been there for the past few weeks. But now, there was an added tinge of desperation. “Please,” he simply said.

She didn’t need any more words. Nodding, she got up with him, sitting through his examination and holding his hand the entire time. Thankfully, this must not be an uncommon occurrence in the ER, as the doctor chose not to question their behaviour.

As they walked towards the cab stand, Josh stopped, his grip flexing to draw her attention. “Donna, I–“ he stopped, closing his eyes. “Donna, I didn’t cut my hand on a glass.”

“Yeah,” she replied, running her free hand up and down his arm in what she hoped was a soothing fashion.

“I put it through a window in my apartment,” he gritted out.

Donna’s hand stilled for a moment before resuming her motions. “Okay.”

“I don’t think I can go home and deal with that right now.”

After a brief pause to consider this, she replied, “It’s probably going to start snowing tonight, Josh, and all your things are going to be ruined. I’ll deal with it, tape a garbage bag over it or something. Now come on.” She tugged on his arm and tried to get him walking again.

Josh just held on, fixing his arm in place so they couldn’t move. Opening his eyes, he scanned Donna’s face for a moment, only seeing her worry and concern there.

Reaching around, he pulled her into a crushing hug, burying his face in her hair. He hugged her as though she was his only lifeline, and she returned it in gratitude to the universe that he was still here with her. They stood in that embrace, in the cold, for several long moments, as Donna felt silent sobs wrack through his body. She could do no more than whisper soothing words to him, gently stroking his back as her own tears tracked silently down her face, hating to see him hurt.

“Thank you,” he whispered as they pulled apart, hurriedly wiping the tears from his face. Looking at her, he was horrified to see her wiping away tears of her own.

“Don’t cry for me, Donna,” he said quietly, as he cupped her cheek to wipe at her cheeks.

 _I’m tuned to you, remember? I hurt when you hurt._ But those would be the wrong words to say. “Okay,” she said with a watery smile, “let’s go.”

***

The cab ride to his apartment was spent in a similarly silent fashion, their heads and hands nestled together as each sought comfort in the other’s presence.

It was a good thing that Josh was standing in the doorway when he opened the door to his apartment, as Donna could feel the icy wind rush at her from around the outline of his body.

“Wow, you picked the absolute worst window to put your hand through,” she quipped as they stepped inside. Turning to face him, she saw the flash of guilt in his eyes.

Cupping his face in her hands, she said, “Hey. That was a joke. Don’t worry about it. Go get warmed up with a hot shower and I’ll deal with this, alright?”

Josh took a breath and nodded, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks,” he said, before trudging to his bedroom.

“Don’t forget to keep the bandage out of the water!” She yelled after him, as an afterthought.

Donna made quick work of patching up the hole, dejected thinking that the only reason she could find everything she needed was due to having practically lived her for months after Josh got shot. She quickly pushed those thoughts away. _He doesn’t need to know or hear about that tonight_. _Or possibly, ever._

She walked into his bedroom just as the shower stopped, and turned on the radiator. After turning down the bed for him, she sat in a chair that was conveniently nearby to warm up, herself.

This was how Josh found her as he stepped out of his bathroom: still in her coat and sitting on her hands, staring into the radiator with a faraway look in her eyes. As he walked towards her, he saw the moment when she stashed whatever thoughts she was having.

When he crouched in front of her, hands on her knees, she smiled softly. “Hey.” Lifting the towel around his shoulders, she rubbed at his damp hair for a few moments. “You should get in bed, the room will warm up soon. I’ll get going as soon as I tuck you in,” she teased.

“That’s crazy. It’s late and, it’s freezing out there. Why don’t you just go have a hot shower yourself and stay here tonight?”

She contemplated this. She really didn’t want to be out in the cold again, and her body was frankly begging her for a hot shower right now. She nodded her agreement. “Alright. But get in bed now.”

“Okay.” He finally smiled for the first time that night as he snuggled under the covers, watching Donna raid his drawers.

***

When she finally stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in his most comfortable sweatpants and shirt, he patted the bed next to him. “Come on, it’ll be warmer with both of us in here.”

Donna shrugged as she moved to the bed. It wasn’t anything new to them; she had spent many nights during his recovery sharing his bed, just needing to be close to watch him breathing.

Donna sighed as she shook off those memories, lying next to him in a mirrored position as they faced each other with an arm under each of their heads. For a while, they stayed silent as Josh watched Donna, whose gaze was fixed to a point on his chest, and it was the most natural thing in the world when Josh moved his hand to hold hers.

Instinctively, Donna turned her hand around to hold on to his as well.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked softly, her eyes flitting up to meet his.

Josh pushed out a breath. “Yeah, I do.” After a pause, he continued, “Stanley Keyworth thinks I have post-traumatic stress disorder. Brought on by, of all things, music.”

“No wonder you’ve been so cranky,” she murmured. “And did he give you something for it?”

“No, no drugs, not that I would take any while working in the White House anyway,” he grumbled. At the stern look on her face, he quickly added, “I’m just supposed to stand with my back against a wall when I feel an attack coming on and work through some other exercises to calm it down. Eventually, he says, I’ll learn to cope.”

“Okay, good. So… one session with him and you’re good to go?”

Josh rolled his eyes. “How, I mean just how, do you do that?” He huffed. “You’ll get a call after the holidays with a number for a regular shrink. I’m supposed to have an appointment every couple weeks or something.”

“Okay. I told you, I’m tuned to you.”

“It’s unnerving.”

“I find it comforting, thank you very much.” _It lets me know you’re still alive and breathing, somewhere._ Her eyes dipped back to that point on his chest.

“Hey.” He squeezed her hand, making her look back into his eyes. “I’m sorry that you had to take care of me, again. Especially on Christmas Eve.”

Donna felt her eyes well up with unbidden tears, and she quickly moved closer to place her forehead against his beating heart, her arm thrown over his side as he automatically moved to place his arm around her to keep her in place.

“It was worth it,” she finally whispered, as she held on to him and couldn’t stop herself from crying into his warm, beating chest. As Josh held on to her, he started to truly realise how much she must have suffered when he got shot. He stroked her hair, softly saying, “I’m here now, baby, I’m here now.”

When she started sniffling, her breath evening out, Josh added, “I’m going to stick around and keep annoying you, if that’s alright.”

She pulled back to look at him on a choked laugh. “Sure. But if you could find it in you to use the intercom, that’d be alright too.”

Josh wiped the tears from her cheeks for the second time that night, his heart breaking. He hated to see her cry. “I like it when you appear in my doorway, so no,” he smiled gently.

As she smiled back at him, he saw when the confusion and doubt started to creep into her face. _Oh, Donna, I don’t know what we’re doing here either_. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. After tonight, he knew that he could no longer ignore or kid himself about how Donna felt about him. He had known that he felt that way about her the first morning he woke up to see her sleeping next to him, her hand lightly resting over his bandaged chest.

However, he didn’t think _now_ was the best time to make grand declarations of anything. Josh didn’t want her to think that he was just saying things in a heightened emotional state, or out of misplaced gratitude for her concern.

It would be Christmas tomorrow. With any luck, he would wake up before her, and could wake her with some pancakes. Then, he’d lay his cards on the table and hope like hell he hadn’t read her wrong.

So, instead, he simply said, “Don’t look at me like that. Let’s just go to sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

“Okay,” she whispered, dropping her head back to his chest. As their limbs entangled, Donna’s last thought before succumbing to sleep was: _Did he just call me baby?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate and am humbled by all your comments and kudos. 
> 
> Drop a scene suggestion if you’d like – they’ll end up in my draft document to be written as inspiration strikes. (Definitely not first come, first served.) I have 6 or 7 quotes lined up already, both from your suggestions and my own favourites. Keep ‘em coming!
> 
> Next chapter is already in the works. :)


	6. It's Exactly What It Looks Like (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One episode, two heart wrenching moments. Seemed like a good fit for a two-parter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celebrating 1,000 hits with my first cliff-hanger, first two-parter, and succumbing to just tagging this series with angst. It was inevitable.

_What did you mean when you said it's not what it looks like?_

_I meant that I wasn't keeping you here on purpose._

_Why would I think you were doing that?_

_I wasn't._

_Why would I think you were?_

***  
  


Josh let out a rough sigh, dipping his head slightly before raising his eyes to her. Dropping his guard, he allowed her to see the tortured look in his eyes. “Damn it Donna. You know why.”

A beat of silence followed, then another, before Donna gently shut the door behind her, leaning up against it, still holding his gaze.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me not to leave all night,” she said softly.

“I won’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Josh tore his gaze away. “Because of who I am. Because of who we are. Did you think I didn’t realise this is the first weekend trip you’ve taken with a boyfriend in the years you’ve been with me? At least one of us should be happy.” Josh closed his eyes, rubbing his face across his hands. “It sure as hell isn’t going to be me.”

“And so you held me back for the HHS budget?”

He burst out of his chair and paced around the room. “I can’t ask you to stay, but it doesn’t mean I want you to go, either.”

“But you want me to be happy?”

“Trust me, I see the hypocrisy in my actions,” he said bitterly. He was now pacing in front her, arms flailing away from his body. “I can’t help it. It’s a war going on in here. Sometimes my head wins, sometimes it doesn’t.”

“Wins against what?”

“Donna.”

“Josh.”

“Why do you want me to say it?”

“Because.” She stopped his pacing by gripping his necktie. “Because when you held me back, all I could think of was, thank God. Because even before that I was hoping you’d come up with an excuse to keep me here.”

Josh looked down at her hand on his tie, unconsciously taking a small step towards her. He lightly touched her hand before he let his fall back to his side. “It’s the line, Donna. I won’t be able to take it back, I won’t be able to walk it back, and I can’t do that to you. You know what they’ll say. Mary Marsh will get on all the shows and say crazy things about you, and I won’t be Bartlet’s pitbull anymore, because I’ll be yours. Legislation won’t go through, and I won’t give a damn because I’ll be busy destroying Mary Marsh, and when I’m done, I’ll go after everyone who agreed with her.”

“I hate to break it to you, Joshua,” Donna said as she stepped closer to him, “but I think you’ve crossed the line anyway.” She lifted a hand to his cheek, lifting his gaze to hers.

Staring into her eyes, he couldn’t help but admit that she was right; it didn’t stop the thoughts from running wild through his mind. As Donna’s thumb ran across his face, he muttered, “Oh, hell,” as he gave in to the overwhelming desire to kiss her.

Grasping both sides of her face, he pulled her to him, even as he walked her backwards till her back hit the door. He grabbed her leg as she lifted it around his hip, their tongues battling for a few moments, before Josh bit her lower lip as he pulled away.

He kneaded her thigh as he ducked his face into her shoulder, trying to get a rein on himself. _Bad move_ , he thought, as the smell of Donna’s hair, and her perfume, and just _her_ , assaulted him. _Super bad move._

With the absolute last shred of his control, Josh reluctantly pulled away, letting go of Donna. “Okay, that was.. yeah. But I’m definitely not crossing _that_ line.”

“Okay,” Donna said, smiling softly. Just then, the phone started to ring.

Josh startled. “I have to– It might be the–“

“It’s okay.”

“Josh Lyman… CJ, slow down... What?... Hang on, I’ll meet you in your office.” With an apologetic look, he said to Donna, “I’m sorry. I have to do this thing. I… Just…” He stalled as he gripped her arms, staring at his hands. _If I don’t say it maybe we can forget the kiss and tiptoe back across the line_.

Donna simply wiped her lipstick off his face and smiled weakly. “Just go, Josh.”

His eyes flew back to hers, all the words he wanted to say trapped behind his eyes. Finally, he nodded.

As he strode towards CJ’s office, Donna flopped into one of his visitor chairs, taking in several deep breaths before smoothing down her hair and getting back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given this is such a short chapter, I won't keep you waiting too long for Part 2. ;)


	7. It's Exactly What It Looks Like (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 from the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now, you’ve probably realised I stay away from trying to fix the political mess of Josh and Donna – I figured it would get repetitive after a while and other fics have done it great already. Still… I was compelled to take a stab at it. Just once.

_LEO_

_Josh. Was I insensitive before about telling you Donna was gone?_

_JOSH_

_No. What do you mean?_

_LEO_

_I don't know. I thought..._

_JOSH_

_It's fine. Of course it's fine. It's great. I was feeling guilty, but now, this... is good. This, this... is better than good. It's the way it should be._

_LEO_

_Oh, get it together, would you please?_

_JOSH_

_I'm trying._

**_***_ **

He had been pummelled from all sides tonight, trying to pull through on Hail Marys from ten different angles for the President, for Leo, for Toby, for CJ, for _Donna_. And now, she was gone?

 _That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You didn’t even ask her to stay. One word, Josh_.

He half-heartedly continued on with their conversation, when Leo said, “It's four years later and there are things that are worse and things that are exactly the same. Where do you start?”

Josh looked at him for a few long moments. “You start by finding the things that you can make better, and preferably, you start at home. Leo, let’s go into your office. There’s something I need to discuss with you while we fix a roof in Israel.”

***

Josh took a seat across from Leo at his desk, legs fidgeting. After looking at him expectantly for a second, Leo huffed. “You know, whenever you’re ready, Josh,” his voice dripping with sarcasm as he resumed reading one of the thousand briefing packets on his desk.

After taking a minute to gather his thoughts – _and courage_ – Josh finally piped up. “It’s four years later and some things are worse, and some things are exactly the same. We’re in our second term, and we’ve gotten better at spending our days fighting or heading off a crisis. In the grand scheme of things, getting together with Donna should be an easy one to deal with, right?”

At Donna’s name, Leo’s head snapped up. He regarded Josh for a few moments. “Just to be clear, you’re asking me for my permission to date your assistant, who has literally just flown off to a romantic getaway with her boyfriend, a naval officer.”

Josh leaned forward to rub his hands over his face. “Yeah, seems like it,” he mumbled.

“Well, what the hell, Josh. You really messed that one up, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” Josh sighed. His eyebrows shot up and he looked at Leo from under his lashes. “Wait, what?”

Just then, Leo’s phone rang and he held up a finger. After a brief conversation, he said to Josh as he hung up the phone, “Things are progressing in Israel. We might be able to provide shelter for baby Jesus after all.”

“…Uh huh, yeah, great.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Josh, I’m not blind. I’ve seen the two of you do whatever it is the hell you do, and I don’t know how we’re only just having this conversation now.”

“…Sir?”

“I’ve been prepared for this conversation for four years, Josh.” Josh still looked, pathetically, like a goldfish. “Honestly, how stupid do I look to you?”

“...Less stupid than me?”

“Damn right. Especially with your timing. What the hell were you thinking?”

Josh sputtered. “I couldn’t exactly tell her not to go when I can’t promise her anything!”

“Oh, and now you can?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about!”

Leo studied him for a beat. “Professionally, here’s what’s going to happen. Donna will be promoted to be the Special Advisor to the Deputy Chief of Staff for Strategic Planning. This has already been in discussions, as she’s done such excellent work under you. Otherwise, nothing will change; you work too well together and I honestly don’t think you’ll be as effective without her.

“I’ve watched the two of you maintain your brand of professionalism for four years and I have _no doubt_ ,” he emphasised, shooting a hard look at Josh, “that you will continue to behave that way. CJ and I have already worked out a plan to minimise the media fallout.

“Anyway, with things going as they are, I don’t think you need to be worried about taking up too many news cycles.” Leo’s gaze drifted off, before refocusing on Josh.

“Personally… just it get together, will you? Seriously, waiting until the girl’s flown off,” mumbling the last part to himself as he leaned back in his chair and returned to his briefing packet.

Josh just sat in stunned silence. _That’s all I had to do? No fighting, no grovelling, or anything. Really?_

Looking up from behind his packet, Leo continued, “Was there anything else?”

Not one to look a gift horse in the wherever, Josh shot out of his chair. “No, sir. Thank you, sir. Seriously, Leo. Thank you. I’ll just… go back to my office now.”

Leo waved him off. “Just go home, Josh, I’ve got it covered. Go home and think about how you’re going to get Donna after, honestly, colossally screwing this one up. I’m going to kick your ass from here till Sunday if you made me have this conversation for nothing.”

***

Josh walked up his street, so preoccupied in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that the lights in his apartment were turned on. Opening his door, he froze as he watched a waifish, long-haired blonde pace his living room.

“Um,” Josh said dumbly.

Donna’s eyes flared as they met his. Josh quickly stepped into his apartment and closed the door.

“What the hell took you so long?” Donna demanded.

“What are you doing here?” Josh said at the same time.

The both remained silent, staring at each other. Finally, Josh relented. “I was in with Leo. I didn’t know you had flown out till he told me,” he said quietly.

“Would you have said something?”

After a moment, Josh shook his head. “Probably not, no.”

Donna visibly deflated, the fight leaving her body. “I guess that’s it then,” she said, moving past Josh towards the door.

“Stay,” he said, grabbing on to her wrist.

“Why?”

“Because I was in with Leo tonight.” He shot her a meaningful look.

Donna’s eyes widened with a mixture of fear and hope. “Yeah?”

Nodding, Josh motioned for them to sit on his couch. “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

Donna sucked in a deep breath. “Bad news.”

“The bad news is, we’re all headed for a world of pain very soon. But not because of… you know, this.” At her confused look, he added, “It’s one of those things I can’t tell you about.”

When she nodded, Josh continued. “The good news is, because of that, I can say what I want to say without there being a whole lot of media coverage.

“Donna, I… I know I’ve been incredibly stupid. Leo chewed me out for it more than once tonight.” At her stunned look, he said, “Yeah, I know. Apparently, we weren’t as subtle as we thought we were.”

“Does that mean… well, I don’t know what it means.”

“What it means is that, according to Leo, he’s been prepared for this situation since we stepped into the White House. And I don’t know if this could have happened any sooner; I really think if it wasn’t for the stars aligning right now, I’d have my ear chewed off for even thinking about… well, you, in the way that you know I think about you.”

“I really don’t think you were being as clear as you thought you were, Joshua,” she drolled. “But we have Leo’s blessing?”

“Yeah.” Josh suddenly raised his head. “But I don’t want you to think I’m saying this just because he said it was okay. I was going to say it anyway.”

“Say what?”

“The thing you’ve been asking me to say all night.” He held both her hands in his. “Donna, I don’t want you to go anywhere. Stay here with me. Be with me. My heart had won all the wars against my head even before I stepped into Leo’s office tonight, and I don’t want to wait to lose you. I’ll fight all your battles if you’ll just have me.”

Squeezing his hands, Donna teased softly, “Even Commander Wonderful?”

“Even him. Though it’s somewhat of an unfair fight seeing as I outrank him.” Reminded of Donna’s plans, he added, “But you still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.”

Nodding, she said, “You still hadn’t asked me to stay, so I got on the helicopter. But on the way there, I realised that just because you hadn’t asked, didn’t mean I couldn’t stay. And if I was still thinking about you while going to be with him, then it clearly wasn’t going to work out. So I made my own choice. I called Jack to break up with him and begged the pilot to let me fly back with him.

“And then I came here. I didn’t know if I wanted to throw myself at you so that your brain would pipe down and give your heart a fighting chance, or if I wanted to yell at you for, I don’t know, being sensible, for the past five years.”

“You know, I wasn’t the only sensible one there. You could have had me at any time you wanted. I’m helpless when it comes to you,” Josh said softly, placing an arm on the back of the couch and drawing her in.

Donna snuggled in immediately. “A girl likes to be wooed, Josh.”

Josh sighed, resting his head on top of hers. “I was actively trying not to bring the woo.”

“I know. And yet, you couldn’t help yourself. Every time you failed at not wooing, it was very good woo.”

“I have very good woo?” Josh grinned.

“Yeah,” Donna laughed into his chest, the sound causing the weight on his heart to ease. “The kind of woo that makes a woman fall in love with you.”

“Then it’s a good thing I only save it for you,” Josh said, as he lifted her chin to plant a soft kiss on her lips. Looking into her eyes, he said, “You wooed me too, Donna, even when you weren’t trying. The kind of woo that makes a man fall in love with you.”

“Then it’s a good thing I never wanted to woo anyone but you,” she replied, reaching up a hand to pull his head down to hers.

***

Later, as Josh lazily caressed Donna’s back, he said, “I think I should also mention that you’re getting a promotion at work.”

Donna, who had been playing with the hair on Josh’s chest, stilled. “What?”

“Yeah, to be my Special Advisor. With important capitals.”

“Isn’t that what I kind of am, anyway?”

“But now it’s in important capitals. And with a pay raise.”

“What?!” She pushed herself up, glaring at Josh. Meanwhile, his eyes had fallen to her exposed breasts, which had moved with her sudden movement.

“Eyes up here, Joshua.”

“Hmm?” His hand trailed up her stomach.

Donna slapped him away, earning her a whine from Josh. “Why didn’t you mention this before? Now I _really_ feel like I slept with you for a promotion.”

“Don’t be silly,” Josh said sternly, flipping her to the bed and rolling on top of her. “You know I don’t make that sort of decisions. If you recall, I was busy professing my love for you.” He bent his head to suckle at her neck.

Just as Donna had forgotten that she was mildly upset, Josh lifted his head, hitting her with a serious expression. “Move in with me.”

“What? No!” she said, laughing.

“Why not? You’re here for one thing or another half the time anyway.”

“It’s too soon! This thing just happened!”

“Five years of woo, Donna. Too soon?”

Donna paused, looking into his eyes. Finally, she wriggled her hips. “Convince me.”

Josh’s face lit up. “I’m well known for being convincing,” he said, flashing her a wicked grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always - your comments and kudos appreciated!
> 
> I'm going to be slowing down on the updates for a bit - I'm currently working on a oneshot that hit me on a rewatch, and less free time in the next few weeks. Hopefully at least 1 chapter a week now!


	8. Naval Radar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected hiatus! Life happened, then exams happened, and now I’m here… to reward you with the slowest burn of all time? I’m sorry. (It was so hard not to turn this vignette into a whole multi-chapter fic, so I present to you the longest ever chapter in this series.)

_JACK_

_Hey, Josh, uh... I'm new and I want to do well and, uh, I don't want to get in between anything._

_JOSH_

_"In between anything"?_

_JACK_

_I have an aide, who in my life, I haven't talked about as much as you've talked about Donna in our entire relationship, yours and mine, which is a cumulative total of seven minutes old._

_JOSH_

_No, no, no._

_JACK_

_You sure?_

***

Josh looked at Jack for a stunned moment, before replying, “I’m just here for Donna. I mean, I’m doing her a favour; remember, this conversation was _not_ my idea. So, that’s it. We’re done talking about Donna.”

Hurriedly leaving Jack’s office, Josh took the long route back to his office to gather his thoughts. _Has it become that obvious? A man that I’ve known for apparently seven minutes can see how I feel about her? I guess the rumours will reach him soon enough. Ugh, she’s going to kill me. But it’s probably worth it if he doesn’t ask her out._

Reaching the DCOS bullpen, he lingered near Carol’s desk for a moment, looking at his staff scurrying around. Donna looked, for all the world, like she was running the show, over everyone else that were probably more qualified than her both on paper and in hierarchy. Yet, he watched with a strange sense of pride and amusement as she corralled his assistant deputies and delegated tasks off his desk without so much as a complaint between them. _Really, she’s probably the boss of me, too_ , he thought wryly.

“Don’t you have work to do?” came a voice from behind him.

Josh startled, turning around. “Jesus, give a man some warning, would you?”

“I don’t know, I thought the sound of my office door opening might have been enough of a clue,” CJ drolled. As she stepped closer to Josh, he turned back around. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, just surveying my kingdom. Watching the well-oiled machine.”

“Holy mother of mixed metaphors,” she mumbled to herself, as she took in the scene before her. As usual, Donna was running the show, handing off papers and folders to the staffers in the bullpen, chatting and laughing with them as they went about their work.

Casting a sideways glance at Josh, she noticed that he seemed not to be surveying his _kingdom_ so much as he was surveying _her_. Before she could say anything else, she watched as his eyes lit up a second before he launched himself off the wall, strutting towards a beckoning Donna.

Watching them briefly, she finally took a right turn towards the communications bullpen as the door to Josh’s office closed behind the chattering pair. Her thoughts involuntarily turned to Danny and the hell that this place was on personal relationships, before shaking it off and entering Toby’s office.

***

“…I don’t think you can reasonably ask someone to control who they fall in love with,” Donna finished her tirade on Vicky Hilton, as the door swung shut behind her and Josh.

Resting his butt on the back of a visitor chair, Josh crossed his arms as he studied Donna. _Is she *trying* to kill me with those big eyes full of righteous indignation? And those lips. Slightly parted and begging to be bitten._ “I know,” he said softly. 

They blinked at each other for a moment.

“I talked to Jack again,” Josh said, interrupting the moment, immediate regretting it as he felt his heart sinking while Donna’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“And?”

“I made it very clear you wanted him to call you.”

“Joshua! That makes me sound desperate!” Donna smacked him on the arm.

“Hey!” He rubbed his arm. “I don’t know the guy and all I’ve ever talked to him about is you. It was weird and uncomfortable!”

“Ugh!” Donna shrieked, storming out of his office.

_Just fucking great._ Rounding his desk, Josh stared at the piles of work on his desk for a few moments. Mentally slapping himself, he got back into his work.

***

“Joshua Lyman’s office, this is Donna,” she said, absentmindedly picking up her ringing phone as she shuffled through some papers.

“Hi, Donna. This is Jack Reese. Is this a good time to talk?”

Donna put down her papers, silently doing a little jig. “Oh, hi! Hi! Yes. How are you? Are you settling in okay? How are you finding the White House?” She closed her eyes, silently cursing herself for babbling.

“Uh, yeah, it’s great, everyone here’s been very welcoming. Especially Josh, you know, your boss.”

Donna blushed furiously. “Yeah, you know, he’s just great like that. You know, there was once we were stranded in Iowa, and it was just total hell trying to get back. And still, he and Toby really connected with some of the locals and ended up coming with the tax-deductible college plan. There was also that time he came up with the President’s non-existent secret plan to fight inflation just because he wanted to help out CJ, when everyone knows he doesn’t do well with the press. And he almost got in a bar fight one night trying to protect Zoey from some college scumbags.” Donna bit her lip as she finished. _Stop. Rambling!_

“Uh, okay–“

“I’m so sorry for going on like that. What did you call for?”

A silence came down the line, before Jack abruptly said, “Oh, it was nothing. Could you pass on a message to Josh for me?”

Disappointment writ large on her face, Donna said with false cheer, “Oh, sure! What did you want to say?”

“Just tell him I said that seven minutes is all it took for me to see that he’s an idiot, and to come see me once he’s ready to admit it.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry, you won’t be getting into trouble for calling him an idiot. Put it on me. See you around, Donna. Bye.”

With that, Jack hung up the phone, leaving Donna to stare confusedly at her phone.

***

Donna delivered the message several hours later, watching Josh closely for a clue as to what Jack’s strange message could have meant. Aside from his initial surprise and confusion, she failed to glean more, as Josh turned his back to her and busied himself with his papers.

Defeated, she went back to work at her desk, carrying on the usual business of her day. As she was about to head home, Josh came striding out of his office. Noticing her coat on, he quickly said, “Just before you leave, can you call and find out if Jack Reese is still in his office and tell him I need to see him?”

Donna nodded, and was eventually put through to Jack. “Hello, Jack. Josh was after a meeting tonight – do you have some time for him?”

A sigh came down the line. “Could you please put him through instead?”

“I’ll check.”

After connecting the call, Donna was about to put her phone back in its cradle when curiosity got the best of her. Instead, she connected to Josh’s line and quickly hit mute.

***

“Jack.”

“Josh. Listen, do you really need a whole conversation for this?”

“You told me to come see you!”

“ _After_ you were willing to admit you had been an idiot.”

A few thuds sounded down the line. “What does this sound like to you?” Josh said in a strangled voice, the sound muffled.

“Look, the only way you’ll stop being an idiot is to tell her. Collapsing on your desk is just unhelpful and I would fear for my country if an idiot was sitting in your chair. So for the love of god, could you assuage a Republican’s civic pride and man the hell up?”

“How are you a Republican in _this_ White House?”

“Not the point of this conversation. I’ve got other things to do, things that concern national security and are arguably more important than this. So just do it, and leave me out of it. No one else needs to be in the middle of your mess.”

“Who _are_ you?”

“A Navy man. A lot of girl talk happens at sea with men away from their homes. So take it from me and get it together. Ok? It’s not that hard, and I’m done with this conversation now. Bye.”

***

As the dial tone _beeeeep_ -ed into his ear, Josh merely stared into space, not bothering to replace the phone just yet.

Meanwhile, Donna put her phone down as gently as possible, being careful not to make a sound as she exited the bullpen. The conversation wasn’t as illuminating as she’d hoped, but she thought she understood well enough what had happened.

As she walked out of the White House, a pair of eyes looked at her out his window, as he had so many nights before. This time, however, it took but five minutes for him to give in to the longing to follow after her.

***

Flinging herself down on her couch, Donna hugged a cushion as she closed her eyes. _Honestly, will I never be able to date someone in the White House without the shadow of Josh hanging over me? How did he even know? He’s been here all of 24 hours. Less, even. Well… maybe it wasn’t about me? It could be some other girl. That he told Jack about? Wait, that doesn’t make sense._

Frustrated with the thoughts spiralling through her mind, back and forth in a seemingly endless and useless cycle, she finally flung the cushion aside, getting up for a glass of wine. As she passed her window, she was surprised to notice a familiar figure pacing back and forth on the pavement below. Quickly moving to the side, she continued watching him as she sipped on her glass. Finally, after what felt like hours, the figure stopped pacing, and walked away.

Donna looked at her empty wine glass, sighing as she walked to her kitchen to put it down. _A question answered, but it’s still just another day of disappointment._

***

Another week passed in their usual fashion, the matter seemingly put aside, jealousies and disappointments swept under the rug as so many things before. Donna continued bugging Josh about talking to Jack, albeit half-heartedly, with Josh demurring each time, saying he had already done his best and that he wasn’t going to contrive another reason to talk to Jack.

That is, until one day…

Donna was seated in Josh’s visitor chair, scribbling furiously on her notepad. She expected him to be back at any moment from his security briefing. When his phone rang, she absentmindedly answered. “Josh Lyman’s office, Donna speaking.”

“Hi, Donna.” Jack’s voice came down the line. “Josh needs you in my office right now. Can you swing by for a moment?”

“Sure, I’ll be right there.” With her mind filled with the ton of work she still had to do before the day ended, she shot off instructions to the rest of the bullpen before she made her way to the basement of the West Wing, where Jack’s office was located.

Donna entered his office, greeted with the sight of the two men shooting each other stony glares with a slight flush on their faces, and Josh’s hair was in a state of mess she had _not_ sent him out of his office with. “Am I interrupting something?” she said meekly.

“No, not at all,” Jack quickly responded, with a meaningful look darted towards Josh. “Josh and I had a nice chat after our briefing, and I decided that I was at fault for not seeing the full picture. So please take a seat, Donna.”

Confused, she sat down in the seat next to Josh, who was studiously avoiding any eye contact.

Jack stood up and headed for the door. “You two are extremely annoying and are being counterproductive to the work I am trying to do here. So for the next 15 minutes, I am going to grab a bite, lock the two of you in my office, and pray that one or the both of you use the sense that the good Lord gave you and work this out.

“You,” he said as he pointed to Donna, “could not shut up about Josh when I called to ask you out. It was obvious to me that for some strange reason, you have some feelings for the man and still wanted me to ask you out.

“You,” he said as he pointed to Josh, “also count not shut up about Donna when you came to ask me to ask _her_ out, and you have pretty much admitted to your feelings for her to me.”

“Now that all of that is out in the open, I would advise you to use the next 15 minutes wisely. And then, to stay out of my personal life.” With that, he strode out of the room, and both Josh and Donna heard the _shnick_ of the doorknob locking them in.

The pair stared after him in dumbstruck silence, as they were forced to confront this thing that they had been dancing around for so long. After a few long moments of staring at their respective hands, Josh stood up and started pacing around the room, catching Donna’s eyes every now and then as she watched his nervous energy propel him from end to end.

“I–“ Josh started, before he thought better of it, catching himself as he resumed his pacing.

“I saw you pacing like this outside my apartment last week,” Donna said softly, darting her eyes to the ground.

The pacing stopped. After a beat, Josh replied, “You did?”

“Yes.” Not knowing what to do with herself, Donna started picking at some invisible lint on her skirt, until she heard Josh speaking again.

“That was the day Jack called me an idiot. Well, for the first time at least. I… He almost made me tell you, but….”

As Josh trailed off, Donna waited, but the end of the sentence never came. “Well, don’t put yourself out on my account,” she said, composing herself before giving him a wistful smile. “It’s fine. We’ll never speak about this again, and we can continue on as we’ve always done. We’ve become quite good at it, anyway.”

Josh gave himself a few moments to let the thought sink it. _This_ is _what we’ve always done. But why? If everyone already knows, and surely, if even Jack does, then…_

“You’re right,” Josh said, slowly, giving himself a few more moments to formulate his words. “You’re absolutely right. We’ve always just sidestepped this… whatever this is between us. I know it’s been hard on you, because it’s been terrible for me too. To see you out on dates, always looking fabulous as you whisk out of the office. To… wish that I could be the one.

“I’m just… I’m just afraid. That if we started something and it ended badly, I wouldn’t get to have you around all the time. That weathering whatever would come our way from pursuing this would have been…I’m probably not making much sense.”

Donna shook her head sadly. “I know. I understand. But after… after Jack just laid out our cards for us, how long more, really, could we continue on? I don’t know. We’ve got some practice, but maybe at not so intense a level?” Donna chuckled quietly to herself, but Josh soon joined in as they both realised they were still talking in metaphors around their feelings.

“We’re really bad at this,” Josh said.

“Yeah,” Donna responded soberly.

“We can’t really go back, can we?”

“We could try, but probably not.”

Donna and Josh locked their gazes to one another, as they both contemplated their future. All manner of what ifs and what could be’s, silently communicated through their eyes. _It could be so much worse. But it could also be so much better. This, they agree on._

Breaking the reverie, Josh said, “Do you remember what Poet Laureate Donnatella Moss once said to me?”

With a light behind her eyes, she said, “Remind me.”

Josh reached a hand out to her. “Want to gather some rosebuds with me, Donna?”

After a beat, Donna nodded, placing her hand in his. “Yes.”

***

Ten minutes later, this was how Jack found them: each gazing fondly on the other, Josh’s thumb tracing light circles on the back of Donna’s hand. It seemed that through the years, they no longer had need to speak aloud to communicate. Anyway, the message was plenty clear even from his point of view.

Clearing his throat, Jack said, “Glad to see we’ve got that sorted out. Now, get out of my office. I’ve got things to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack the matchmaker? Who whoulda thunk?! I don’t know what goes on in my brain sometimes. 
> 
> I probably won’t be updating this fic anymore but I may write in other fandoms as and when I get on another ship, so please subscribe to my author account if you’d like to read more by me at some point in the future. Thanks for all of your support, it’s meant a great deal to me and encouraged me to pursue writing creatively, as opposed to the dry legal stuff that is my day to day. <3


End file.
